Lundy Bancroft has written The Definitive Exposé of The Abuser's Playbook.
It's called, "Why Does He DO That?", and its focus is on domestic violence perpetrators.
However...
Everything - and I mean, everything - that Bancroft has discovered about the whys and wherefores of abuse in a DV setting also applies to abuse in any other setting that I can think of.
Elementary school; middle school; high school; universities; graduate programs; research laboratories; intramural sports; professional sports; clubs; churches; nursing stations; nursing homes; workplaces in general; the daily commute; the music industry; the media; the blogosphere; support groups; message boards; dating; marriage; divorce...
government;
finance;
law enforcement;
military justice;
politics.
I have not been able to think of a single arena in which abusive behavior occurs, where the concepts described by Bancroft cannot be applied to understand
both how
and why
it occurs.
I delayed reading this book for years, because I thought that the DV focus would be less than fully relevant to the issues I grapple with here.
I could not have been more mistaken.
Whatever your own situation, please consider reading it. Please.
I read Bancroft's book quite some time ago, but my brain was overloaded with new information about dysfunctional marriages.
ReplyDeleteI need to re-read his book now that my understanding of 'abuse' has exceeded beyond an Intimate Relationship. Problem is, I loaned my book to someone and never got it back!
Guess I'll fork over the cash and buy another one since I can't recall who borrowed my book. (Must be old age or PTSD, not sure which. ha!)
Besides, every good woman's library should have at least one copy on reserve!
Hugs,
CZ
I can't remember the name of the company, but there was an old com-
ReplyDeletemercial that said, "When X speaks,
people listen."
That's how I feel when you make a reading recommendation. I'll add this to my list.
Thanks,
c