26 October 2007

Other Women, Other Voices

There is awareness, and then there is awareness.

In a future post I will talk about the way in which a group shades into a team shades into a clique shades into a gang shades into a mob, and where the tipping points seem to be.

But for now, know this: the antidote to gangs, to mobs, to Twilight-Zone churches and families and workplaces, where denial predominates and abusers rule, is: awareness.

I have recently discovered two excellent blogs on the subject of abuse and abusers, by other women who recognize abuse as predation, abusers as predatory, and our social framework as horrendously enabling. They are not fooled by surfaces, false personae, word salad, projection. They know a bully when they see one, and they're not afraid to believe in evil... these women see what's there, and talk about it, sometimes very frankly.

It's extremely reassuring to know they exist. Reading them is both education and vindication.

There are links to these blogs [including an earlier version of the second one] in the sidebar here, but I want to place them in the prominence they deserve:

Narcissists Suck
What Makes Narcissists Tick
What Makes Narcissists Tick ["first edition"]

These women are aware.

Read, explore, enjoy. And watch your paradigms.

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Anonymous jordie said...

Great site, I would like to give you a link to my own on spiritual abuse. The two blogs you mention have been fountains of wisdom for me.

The Luella Miller story below was certianly a great portrait of narcissism. I wish the 'village' I lived with would come to their senses in the same way this one eventually did. It reminded me of the story of The Shadow by Hans Christian Andersen (link below)

Its also a story about having your life taken over by someone you thought was 'part of you', ie your shadow. I read it as a child and found it chilling, and unnusual for HCA, usually a witty children's author. I see much more in it now as an adult.

26 October, 2007 23:21  
Blogger Stormchild said...

Thank you jordie!

I believe I've seen you as a visitor to one or both of the other sites - glad to see you here. Yes, they are outstanding; I have spent literally hours reading them now.

Please share a link to your blog; I'm sorry you went through what you did, but I'm glad you are speaking out about it. Spiritual abuse is extremely destructive and [I think] far more common than many people realize. The more voices are raised against the darkness, and the easier it is for people to find those voices, the closer we come to the light.

In re Luella Miller, and your experience - sadly, most 'villages' never 'figure it out'. Kathy Krajco's blog has several posts about the complicity of bystanders, and I think Narcissists-suck does too. Some people are clueless [and they're the ones most likely to stand up once they see what's going on], but others are either herd animals ['thank god the wolves picked her and not me'; they never realize their turn is coming] or remoras, hanging around the sharks [and sucking up to them] in order to feed on scraps from their kills.

Thank you very much for the link to the Andersen story; I'll read it over my morning coffee!

27 October, 2007 11:04  
Anonymous Jordie said...

The web address for the blog on spiritual abuse is below.

Just so you aren't confused, I blog under a different name there. I even confuse myself sometimes.

That bystander thing is really scary. I have done it myself a few times and felt really bad about it. I guess I should be glad I still have a conscience. Since I grew a backbone, I find the speaking up part to be even more painful than staying silent. Its amazing how nasty people can get when you directly oppose them. People who otherwise seem so sweet will cut you down rather than admit they are wrong.... you don't have to be a Narcissist to act that way either.

I am glad the internet provides a ready community for refugees from abuse to meet and compare notes. I don't know what I would have done without it!!

27 October, 2007 21:41  
Blogger Stormchild said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

28 October, 2007 18:39  
Anonymous Jordie said...

OK, thats just weird.

I'm sure I put the web address on my signature at the bottom. I will try again.

Actually there are two sites, one with just information, and the other with my comments, and one links to the other.

The information site is


hope that works

29 October, 2007 16:53  
Blogger Stormchild said...

Thanks! I'm looking forward to reading your site!

29 October, 2007 20:35  

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