15 February 2007

I Hurt; This Stinks (and what we do about it)

When we are young, we are hurt.

Even as children, we can choose how we respond to that hurt.

Choice 1: I hurt, this stinks, I won't ever do this to anyone else, no matter what it costs me.

Choice 2: I hurt, this stinks, I'm going to take it out of the hide of everyone who comes within my reach, for the rest of my life, no matter who they are or how little they deserve the pain.

Choice 3: I hurt, this stinks, I'll just pretend it doesn't hurt, I don't know what else to do, maybe if I curl up and ignore everything I can make it stop.

Choice 4: I hurt, this stinks, maybe if I team up with the person who is hurting me, I can help them hurt someone ELSE, and they'll leave ME alone.

Choice 5: I hurt; this stinks. I need to figure out what is causing this pain, and see if I have any realistic options for alleviating it.

Choice 6: I hurt, this stinks, I'm outta here.

The way we respond to our childhood pain shapes our character and the pattern of our relationships... often, lifelong.

Unfortunately, it's only grownups who have Choices 5 and 6 as options... but it's the innocent, injured untimely, who need those two options most.