Lundy Bancroft: Read His Book.

Lundy Bancroft has written The Definitive Exposé of The Abuser's Playbook.

It's called, "Why Does He DO That?", and its focus is on domestic violence perpetrators.

However...

Everything - and I mean, everything - that Bancroft has discovered about the whys and wherefores of abuse in a DV setting also applies to abuse in any other setting that I can think of.

Elementary school; middle school; high school; universities; graduate programs; research laboratories; intramural sports; professional sports; clubs; churches; nursing stations; nursing homes; workplaces in general; the daily commute; the music industry; the media; the blogosphere; support groups; message boards; dating; marriage; divorce...

government;
finance;
law enforcement;
military justice;
politics.

I have not been able to think of a single arena in which abusive behavior occurs, where the concepts described by Bancroft cannot be applied to understand

both how

and why

it occurs.

I delayed reading this book for years, because I thought that the DV focus would be less than fully relevant to the issues I grapple with here.

I could not have been more mistaken.

Whatever your own situation, please consider reading it. Please.